The Small-stage vs. The Theatre
Some moments in life, make you behave the way you don't normally do. Like when I got on to the makeshift stage not three days ago and sang for the Hostelites Dinner party. The first thing I realised, was how "small" I felt in comparison with the other performers there. I suppose it really shows how much I have changed since my days in the theatre. I cannot explain it, but somehow, I was truly humbled to be there, in the presence of a whole bunch of people who were obviously more experienced than I was.
My fingers felt cold, my knees trembled, and my throat developed all of a sudden that signature sort of dryness that usually heralds the beginnings of stage-anxiety. The only difference was this time, it wasn't going away. But still, I daresay I put my best foot forward, and sang to my better capabilities.
And even when the crowd cheered, or clapped along, I was aware, constantly of the background noises. The people eating their food on each table, Vibha's "almost-smile" on my left, Bagus somewhere in the crowd, and the guy shuffling cards on the right. The thing about performing at a dinner event, is that there are bound to be people who are so absorbed in something else. In that moment I realised the difference between the small stage and theatre and the reality of it all jarred me for a moment.
I would not know about what the audiences saw, but judging from how I felt before the show, I would say that Victor on guitar seemed the one who was more seasoned on the small-stage than I was, but perhaps it was my background in the theatre that made the change all the more apparent and jarring. Still, I daresay that it was an extremely interesting form of performance and the true challenge, I am pushing myself to right now, is to be so good that people cannot help but to look up from their food and listen to me sing.
I know you listen to music with your ears, not your eyes, but it would be great all the same.
Sometimes I can't help but feel that all my experience, all the times I was told I'm a star, everything that I had grown up with and had come to believe about myself, had all ammounted up to nothing.
"...as she became grown up, she wasn't so sure. I don't know why grown ups don't believe what they did when they were kids. I mean, aren't they supposed to be smarter? What Mahoney needed was the opportunity to prove to herself that she was something more than she believed. " Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.
Some moments in life, make you behave the way you don't normally do. Like when I got on to the makeshift stage not three days ago and sang for the Hostelites Dinner party. The first thing I realised, was how "small" I felt in comparison with the other performers there. I suppose it really shows how much I have changed since my days in the theatre. I cannot explain it, but somehow, I was truly humbled to be there, in the presence of a whole bunch of people who were obviously more experienced than I was.
My fingers felt cold, my knees trembled, and my throat developed all of a sudden that signature sort of dryness that usually heralds the beginnings of stage-anxiety. The only difference was this time, it wasn't going away. But still, I daresay I put my best foot forward, and sang to my better capabilities.
And even when the crowd cheered, or clapped along, I was aware, constantly of the background noises. The people eating their food on each table, Vibha's "almost-smile" on my left, Bagus somewhere in the crowd, and the guy shuffling cards on the right. The thing about performing at a dinner event, is that there are bound to be people who are so absorbed in something else. In that moment I realised the difference between the small stage and theatre and the reality of it all jarred me for a moment.
I would not know about what the audiences saw, but judging from how I felt before the show, I would say that Victor on guitar seemed the one who was more seasoned on the small-stage than I was, but perhaps it was my background in the theatre that made the change all the more apparent and jarring. Still, I daresay that it was an extremely interesting form of performance and the true challenge, I am pushing myself to right now, is to be so good that people cannot help but to look up from their food and listen to me sing.
I know you listen to music with your ears, not your eyes, but it would be great all the same.
Sometimes I can't help but feel that all my experience, all the times I was told I'm a star, everything that I had grown up with and had come to believe about myself, had all ammounted up to nothing.
"...as she became grown up, she wasn't so sure. I don't know why grown ups don't believe what they did when they were kids. I mean, aren't they supposed to be smarter? What Mahoney needed was the opportunity to prove to herself that she was something more than she believed. " Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.
PEACE OUT
