I'm a Tooth Fairy!!! There's many things people don't know about tooth fairies. Our purpose for instance. No, we're not here to tell children that it is okay to sell their body parts for money, nor are we here to bribe them into brushing their teeth everyday with gold coins… although there have been a number of lawsuits on that fron- but anyway, the point is, that’s not what we do!!! So what do we do you ask? Why, we make children smile!
As a tooth fairy, our job is simple, get in, take the tooth, place a coin and get out!!! but most importantly, we have a strict company policy, and that is to not -at any cost- be seen. On that front there are several defenses the Tooth Fairy Company has in place to protect its employees. First of all our natural invisibility. It should be of note that adult humans cannot see tooth fairies - or magical creatures of any kind for that matter - and only children who still retain their baby teeth can see us ,although in this fairy‘s humble opinion, since when has any adult taken a little child's ramblings about fairies seriously anyway? However in case of emergencies -you'd be surprised at how many adults and teenagers still have their baby teeth- we always carry upon our bodies several fail-safe devices.
No.1- Amnesia dust (as seen on TV!!!!) - one sprinkle of this and bada-bing-bada-boom you're ... what was I saying again?
No.2- Sleep ray - one shot of this and any child, parent or teenager goes down like a rock
No.3- Chameleon jacket - blends user in with his surroundings (very efficient for those famillies where the children sleep with their parents!!!)
No. 4- Magical Tooth Whitener - sprinkled on teeth to grant extra shine and whiteness!
But the secret weapon in our Tooth Fairy arsenal, the thing which we only pull out in those rare moments when we find a child that is really deserving of it is...
No. 5- The Magical Toothbrush Wand!!! The Magical Toothbrush Wand, when used, blesses the said well-behaved child with a perfect set of teeth and the most beautiful smile for the rest of his or her life.
But being a tooth-fairy is not really about using all these cool gadgets, heck its not even about the nifty uniform, the pretty wings, job-benefits, high pay, dental plan … Nope, its not about all that, what it is really about, is promoting dental hygiene, and placing perfect little smiles on every child's face. As said on our company motto : "Guaranteed smiles, or we double the cash!!!”
*I would also like to dedicate this post to my soon-to-be-dentist sister and all her dental mates!!! The Tooth Fairies of the modern world.*
